Remember how I went on that Vision Quest in my backyard recently?
Well, one of the things I had a vision about, was changing the way I communicate.
I saw a vision of myself on stage, talking off the cuff and making jokes in a way that was totally uninhibited.
A vision of a Solo Improvisation / Stand-up Comedienne no less.
But as days turned into weeks, I started to lose confidence in the idea.
Started to doubt myself.
Started to doubt the vision.
Luckily for me, this soul-discovery business is a team sport – the Universe always has my back when I’m following my heart.
My dear friend Maria, aware of my Vision Quest, sent me an email with a flyer to a workshop with Andrew Morrish, the grumpy old man of Improvisation.
My soul soared and my heart sank.
I was actually going to have to make a decision whether my vision was worth following.
I sat on the flyer for a week, too scared to say yes to myself. I had so many excuses – I’m not ready, who’s going to look after my daughter, can I really afford it?
Another week passed before I brought up the topic with my husband. (His response was so uninteresting that I actually can’t remember what he said!)
And it was then that I realised – it’s me standing in the way. I am the Number One roadblock to transforming my life.
It was time I said yes to my vision and said yes to my pleasure. So off I went to a weekend-long improvisation workshop.
On the Saturday (which just happened to be the dark moon – seriously, I couldn’t make this shit up!) I let go of my inhibitions. On the Sunday with the new moon, I welcomed in my new performing self…
And the following weekend, I stood up in front of an audience and I performed for 20 minutes.
Without a single idea about what was going to come out of my mouth.
Without an inkling of how my body was going to move.
Without a concern for how I was going to look.
Because to stand up like that, there was just no room for my insecurities.
I just had to have deep faith that the content would simply appear in my head – and it was only going to appear if I could trust myself, trust the crowd, and trust the process.
Now that I’ve done it once, I’m imagining a life of performance, a life of pleasure and an ongoing dialogue saying yes to myself and yes to what appears in my head.
And as for my show, you might be wondering how it went?
If you were in the audience, you would have heard them say it was a risky and courageous performance.
You would have heard them say it was heart-opening, exciting and insightful.
You would have heard their snorts and squeals and delighted belly laughs.
And you would have heard them say over their cheers and roaring laughter, “She brought the $*%@ing house down!”
See you at my next show Empresses!
I need to hear more stories about strong women leading beauty-filled and spiritual lives, and so I created Empress Crow and Rabbit. It’s a forum to showcase the inspirational stories of women in uniquely feminine careers. It's also a bridge between what we think we know and what we feel is right. Thank you for joining me – let’s all learn, grow and celebrate the feminine together.
Photo credit: Lucy Spartalis