Pursuing Pleasure on the Full Moon
The seeds that you sowed on the new moon on the 20th October, those intentions that you welcomed in – how are they growing?
Are they sprouting?
What nurturing do they need to help them grow?
My seed was Pleasure and while there is a little shoot coming up out of me, it is so very tentative and certainly needs some nurturing…
Pursuing pleasure doesn’t come naturally to this Capricorn, so I encouraged the growth of my new habit with a daily question – “What small thing will bring me pleasure today?”
I tried to keep it simple and deliberately specified ‘small’ so that I didn’t overthink it or get overwhelmed trying to fit it into my already busy To Do List.
It mostly worked.
Here’s a snapshot of some pleasure activities I enjoyed in the last fortnight:
- Picking roses from my new garden and putting them in a vase.
- Giving myself permission to lie on the grass in my backyard, watching clouds by myself, while my daughter watched TV inside.
- Making a mandala on the grass with my daughter with petals we found from our garden.
- Putting on new lipstick to write a blog at 9.30pm. (That’s right now! What do you think?)
- Walking into our little town in the rain despite my daughter having two tantrums along the way, insisting we take the car (she hates the car) and not wanting to wear shoes or her raincoat. It was warm-ish and so I let her wear just socks in the puddles, while she conceded to wearing her raincoat on her legs while in the stroller. She got her way and I got out of the house – we both felt so very smug that day!
I counted any activity that pleased me, seemed luxurious, or was something I’ve never let myself do before.
There were some beautiful days, but I noticed that I still didn’t let myself experience pleasure each day.
It was like I wasn’t important enough to make time for pleasure.
Meanwhile, I noticed on the days I didn’t allow myself pleasure, that I didn’t parent as well, I had a lot of self-judgment and I didn’t get as much done.
On the days I did allow myself pleasure, my monkey-mind slowed down, I was able to be more present with my daughter, and every now and then, I actually experienced joy thinking about my life.
Feeling joyful about my life!
And instead of feeling embarrassed or ashamed that it’s taken me so long to feel any of those things, I’m just letting that shame go and instead having compassion for all my feelings, just like Marion Rose would invite me to.
Because quite simply, I just don’t have time anymore to wallow or be so very mean to myself.
I can instead think about how best I can pleasure myself today, and the next day, and the next.
And perhaps one day, Pleasure may just make it to the top of my daily To Do List.
I need to hear more stories about strong women leading beauty-filled and spiritual lives, and so I created Empress Crow and Rabbit. It’s a forum to showcase the inspirational stories of women in uniquely feminine careers. It's also a bridge between what we think we know and what we feel is right. Thank you for joining me – let’s all learn, grow and celebrate the feminine together.
Photo credit: Lucy Spartalis